You Don't Say

I am perhaps the only person I know who is very interested in body language but does not want to use it to win at Texas hold’em. Despite my enjoyment of the rare occasion playing gin rummy, hearts or go fish, the images of seedy characters wearing Hank Williams, Jr. sunglasses and accountant visors glued to a table have just never done it for me. I was the lone detractor when a restaurant client of mine seemed to like the idea of not selling food in favor of all the Texas hold’em you can eat. It is a lonely, lonely time where you’re the only one who can’t seem to get “in” on a fad.

While I share little interest in the game with Texas holding aficionados, I have yet to encounter one who doesn’t want to talk about body language. I imagine the ability to decode the feeling and intent of the guy across the table wearing the cowboy hat and blue blockers, especially when the kids colleges money is on the line, would be kind of handy. My interest in nonverbal communication came about a different way and perhaps the same way it does for many, which is, in the pursuit of the opposite sex. Being able to unmasked the façade and decode nonverbal cues meant knowing if she was interested, bored, excited or defensive. Years ago, I studied nonverbal cues and their indications in psychological testing and analysis and today I observe focus groups and interviews looking for upturned wrists, crossed arms and toothless smiles and hoping to reveal a hidden opinion, group dynamic or unconscious reaction.

An upturned wrist? It means surrender. Bearing the wrist puts you in disadvantageous position to attack. Plus, it’s hard to hide a sharp rock or a steak knife when your wrist is facing upward. Some even speculate that shaking hands originated from the fact that shaking another’s hand would prove the other person wasn’t holding a weapon. I’m not sure how that would help when it comes to their other hand which might be holding an axe or a mace. Crossed arms can be both a reassurance and protection. We naturally put our arms in front of ourselves when we feel attacked but we also tend to self hug when we need the feeling of reassurance. As for the toothless smile that my real estate agent gives, the truth behind the façade is pretty sinister and I’m not referring to her blinding outer-space whitened teeth. When we genuinely smile, our whole face moves: cheeks, eyes, lips, brow, etc. When we fake smile, we move our lips but little else save for a slight squint of the eyes...to focus…as in to focus on a subject for attack. A fake smile is less a prelude to a kiss and more of a prelude to a knuckle sandwich served sans mayo.

Of course, there are body signals that are less about survival and more about survival of the species, such as the hip tilt. The hip tilt is a little maneuver that women can do thanks to the special construction of their hips. The tilt is achieved when weight is shifted to one hip and the waist is tilted out, accentuating the curve of her midsection and highlighting that she is, in fact, not a man. The posture is all but irresistible to men and if you need and example, look in pretty much any magazine where women are used to get men’s attention.

And that brings up attention. Our body seems to want to tell the world whether or not we are interested. We point our bodies in the direction of what we want to have, see or attack. When we try to hide that we are pointing, we point anyway. A person trying to conceal that they are interested in someone or something will still point their toes in the direction of interest. Next time you are in a social situation, first guess where the interest lies then look at everyone’s toes. Yeah, we’re surprised too.

I recall with great humor a situation while on vacation at the beach with a group of friends and how one little attention-starved vixen set up her beach chair perpendicular to and directly in front of all the other girls’ husbands. And while none of the wives fully verbalized why this made them mad, they were mad enough that the vixen is lucky she didn’t get force fed a bottle of Coppertone. Sure, she was just laying out her chair. Wrong. She was putting herself in a space where all the men of the group were seemingly directing their attention at her whether they had intended to or not. It wasn’t a message to the men as much as it was a message (and not a very pleasant one) to the other women.


So, if brands function best when they develop a functioning persona, then could one reason that brands have body language that inadvertently makes communication to consumers? The answer that helps and hurts many companies despite their contrary efforts is a definite yes. Companies and their brands tend to function less like a single organism and more like a coral reef. In a single organism, a central nerve center controls the function of ancillary processes. In a coral reef, thousands of organisms work together for the promise of shared success and prosperity. Basically put, nobody has to do anything on the reef. They simply choose to. And the result is that each organism has, at least, the possibility to send out its own signals.

It might be simpler if a company was only known by the communication it purposefully circulates. Such an idea is unlikely and possibly undesirable. Truthfully, the multiple levels of communication a company gives off helps fill the numerous gaps that no corporate communication department could cover. Additionally, the shedding of information works as a check and balance system of corporate behavior. Think I’m kidding? Ask Nike or one of their many 14-year-old Malaysian retirees. Companies who try to control the natural flow of communications end up creating a vacuous void and the consumer response is to assume something is being hidden from view. Much of the American way of life is rooted in the belief that information, be it the writ of habeas corpus or the freedom of the press, is an entitlement to be withheld from no one.

So, where are your company’s toes pointing? Are you covering up vulnerabilities or do you need a collective self hug? Let’s do a little digging and see what’s going on behind the toothless smile.

Is that a hip tilt or do you really need to use the bathroom?

Companies often seem coy about wanting to attract customers. While the media stratosphere is full of the outgoing, the vast majority of marketers seem to fear that if the put themselves out there, they’ll get shot down.

Often I have to tell a company how attractive they are. I imagine the years of struggle and humility have made some companies shy about how irresistible they are to consumers. My advice, realistically embrace your attractiveness. Understand your strengths and trouble spots and don’t be afraid to cop to either.

Put your beach chair there in the middle and you might get your eyes clawed out.

The opposite of bashful is attention starved. The hype-filled late nineties taught us that hype and attention are as good as money in the bank, so long as it’s somebody else’s money in your bank. Now that the dust has settled, companies should use good judgment before plopping right down in the middle of the watchful eyes that have been jaded from all the unfulfilled eye candy of the dotcoms.

It is better to hone your strengths and beckon from afar- a technique that attracts the most brand-loyal first and then pulls the larger and perhaps less forgiving mass behind. This type of lure has far more credibility and therefore staying power with the market.

Take a look at where your toes are pointing.

The toes of a company are simply important. It says something to consumers about who you are, what you’re interested in, how sincere you are and if you can be trusted with their loyalty. So what are you communicating to them outside of that booming ad or bloated press release that’s sugar coated for instant absorption? What does your charitable giving say about you? What does your labor relations say about you? What does your board composition, CEO’s choice of speaking engagements, headquarters’ architecture, interior design, two-sided business card or any of the myriad of other things that form the sum communication say about you? It might be time to start asking those questions.


A man in high heels defeats the purpose.

The idea behind high heels is that it makes women walk in a way that clearly distinguishes them from men. And that is the whole attraction, distinguishing and discernment. But companies often don’t want to highlight differences. They would rather blend into the perceived safe noise and hope that fading into the background is some kind of strategy to get customers attention. If you want your company to have an enduring and desirable brand, it might be time to find a better way to mediate attraction.

I recommend your company primp a little. Find out the secret to your attractiveness and control those nonverbal cues so that you are sending the right message with the whole company body. At the same time, listen to customers nonverbal cues and find out their true feelings and intentions. Understand and control the attraction, and you won’t be surprised when you look down at your customers’ feet and they’re pointing right at you.

Snowden Tatarski is a marketing consultancy based in Athens, Georgia that focuses on the development and implementation strategic marketing plans. The company offers marketing research, marketing strategies, advertising development, media strategy and planning, sales consultation, trade communication strategies and the production of advertising, sales collateral, broadcast and interactive systems and materials. Information online at www.sn-ta.com